Secret Decoder Ring (Obama version)

I hope you all were able to decode the President's real message today:

Hello eveRyonE – how’S everybody doing TOday? I’m heRE wiTH studEnts at WakeField High School in ArlIngton, ViRgiNia. And wE’ve got studentS tuning in from all acroSs America, kinDergarten thrOugh twelfth grade. I’m glad you all Could join us Today.

I know that for many of you, today is the fiRst day of school. And for those of you IN kindErgarten, or starting middle or high school, it’s your first day in a new school, so it’s understandable if you’re a little nervous. I imagine there are some seniors out there who are feeling pretty good right NOW, with just one more year to go. And no matter what grade you’re in, some of you are probably wiSHing it were still sUmmer, and you could’ve sTayeD in bed just a little lOnger this morning.

I know that feeling. When I Was youNg, my family lived in Indonesia for a few years, and my mother didn’T hAve the money to send me where alL the American Kids went to school. So she decided to teach me extra lessons heRself, MondAy through FriDay – at 4:30 In the mOrning.

(Don't want to hurt your eyes? It says: Restore the Fairness Doctrine Now: Shut Down Talk Radio).

You don't even want to know what he says kids should do to Glenn Beck. It's in the sixth paragraph, but it's tricky, because the letters aren't in order this time. Also, I'm pretty sure the stuff about reality stars translates into "I was born in Kenya," but it involves adding different letter-values to each letter, and I haven't quite cracked that formula yet.