Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Bachmann (Supposedly) Targets Very Stupid Donors

Today's fun story is courtesy of the New York Post, which "reports" that some Jews are donating to Michele Bachmann because they mistakenly believe that she's a Red Sea Pedestrian (via Goddard). No, I don't really believe the (very thinly sourced) story; I think it's just an excuse for the Post to trot out the much-hyped but little-verified story that Jews are deserting Barack Obama. But Jews who somehow pay enough attention to the political process to be ready to give money to Bachmann but not enough to know that she's a Christian? I'm just not buying it without a lot more evidence.

However, as much as I expect that absolutely nothing from that Post story will turn out to be true, I do like the idea of  a presidential candidate who would deliberately spread false rumors of her own religion or ethnicity in order to raise money from exceptionally stupid donors. So, in order do help out, I'd like to present seven important Michele Bachmann little-known facts. Or, you know, sort of facts.

1. Visit the Bay of Pigs Museum? She's Cuban! That's it.

2. I heard that between them, her grandfathers played roughly 75% of all Irish cops in 1930s through 1950s movies.

3. Oddly enough, distant cousin of both Spiro Agnew and Olympia Dukakis, but not Michael Dukakis.

4. Tom Cruise, John Travolta, Kirstie Alley...Michele Bachmann? Could be!

5. [This item would be in Spanish and point out that she's Mexican, but unfortunately I'm not capable of producing it]

6. It's funny; she sure doesn't look Korean, and there's no real evidence that she has any Korean connections, but still...you look at her, and just think: yup, Korean.

7. Forget it, Jon Huntsman and Mitt Romney -- I hear she's LDS, all the way.


  1. You completely forgot to mention a number of successful horror novels on your list.

  2. I know how to sell her to exceptionally stupid donors. Just tell them that she's real dumb just like them. ...Unless that's what she's already doing... "Dumb! It's the new white."

  3. Here is the part of the article that made me spit out my breakfast (or would have, if I'd been eating at the time):

    "She has enjoyed strong popularity among Jewish voters and often talks about her stay on a kibbutz during the summer of 1974, when she was a teenager."

    The idea that a Republican like Bachmann would enjoy "strong popularity among Jewish voters" is absurd on the face of it. She's exactly the sort of politician who scares the bejeezus out of most Jewish voters, while attracting the likes of Rabbi Daniel Lapin, who never met a conservative Republican he didn't claim was a Jew's best friend.

    I'm curious which powerful Jewish donors would even think of donating to a Republican presidential candidate, let alone would assume that a surname ending in -mann (as opposed to -man) is a sign of membership in the Tribe, let alone wouldn't even bother to check before making a decision which way their money flows. (Hey, that Alfred Rosenberg, a real ehrliche yid....)

    In 2008, there were similar rumors going around about Sarah Palin, but as far as I know it wasn't responsible for the mass Jewish exodus to the GOP that we all know occurred that year.

  4. The article seems to come from Romney's fundraisers.
    I sense one possible genesis: Romney staffers at a bar blowing off steam, and one of them talks about the stupid people who've given that response a few times. One of them is a friend with the Post reporter, or it becomes a telephone game, or something like that.

    Now, another possible genesis is quite odd: Romney's people planted the story intentionally. Why would they do such a thing? To suggest that Bachmann's voters are stupid? Stewart, Colbert, and most of the press do that job for you. To send a signal to anti-semites that Romney is one of them? I dunno, doesn't seem anywhere near that risk, and anti-semitism isn't as popular in the GOP base as it once was.

    If the story isn't planted by Romney, or accidentally leaked by Romney...what are the other options?


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