Look, I'm just not going to do it, okay? I'm not going to write a "don't take Newt seriously" post. Just drag out my old posts about Herman Cain or Michele Bachmann and scratch their names out and put Newt's in there, in crayon if possible, and change the pronouns if necessary.
I'd much rather talk about Roy Moore -- the Ten Commandments judge -- but apparently he may have abandoned the race! Or maybe not. It's sort of hard to tell from very lazy googling. But I promise: if he is still running, and someone wants to make the case that he has a chance after all...well, I'll be all over that. But knocking down this Newt business? C'mon, you don't need me for that, do you?