Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Island Conspiracy Real Motives Exposed! Sort Of!

I'm clearly not on enough email lists. Or maybe I'm on just the right number of email lists. Anyway, I somehow had missed this one: Barack Obama supposedly is giving several islands to the Russians! As you might expect, if it's in a wacko email, sooner or later a real Republican candidate is going to start repeating it. Anyway, Tim Murphy at that link tracks down where it came from (maybe not an email, but I'm sticking with it, because it sounds better), and links to and explains the much less thrilling debunking.

What's missing from it, however, is what I've now learned is the key to understanding Fast and Furious: the real reason why Obama is intent on this treasonous conduct. Why would he give away US possessions and resources? I think I'll give the possibilities I can think of in quiz form:

A. As part of Obama's plan to drive up the price of gasoline. Needs no explanation (note: "needs no explanation" is highly recommended for filling gaps in the logic of any conspiracy thoery).

B. Same as Fast and Furious: first give the Russians a few islands, and next step is gun control! How, you ask? Well, Obama is just asking for armed revolt from Alaskans, which will give him exactly the excuse that he needs to impose draconian gun control, won't it?

C: When in doubt, go with the safe one: Sharia Law. After all, those Rooskies are probably all Muslims, just like him. So when they get those islands...okay, I'm not sure exactly how that works. But, creeping Sharia!

D. And, folks, what do you think I'm going to include: yup. it's part of the plot to bring back the Fairness Doctrine. And yes, they're still worried about it.

Feel free to use this post as proof of the true motives of the Obama Administration concerning this nefarious plot.

24 comments:

  1. Clearly it's because he hates women (somehow tied in to Sarah Palin, former half-term governor of Alaska).

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  2. Gonna have to go with B as freaking ATF investigations from the W presidency seems to be whats hot right now. But I'd like to see a option E: there is a bunch of gold in those islands and so the plan is to give the Soviets the gold so we can't go back to the gold standard. I also like the multiple choice test, they are so much easier to grade than those accursed blue books! And if there's one thing America needs its making The Crazy easier. Oh and JB you forgot to point out how the black helicopters fit into the nefarious scheme: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_helicopters

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    1. that was suppose to be "freaking out about ATF", looks like the fluoride in the water is making go crazy!

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  3. I'm sure all these lies are dreamed up by corporations. Corporations, all around me. Citizens United. Corporations. We must prevent the Bildeberg Group incorporating in Delaware. Sometimes Murdoch, sometimes Koch. But always corporations.

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    1. No one considers corporate dominance to be a conspiracy, because in order for a conspiracy to exist, there has to be some attempt at secrecy.

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  4. I have to go with the whole Kenyan anti-Colonialist Marxist thing. You know, destroy capitalism, call in the UN thugs to maintain order and get all the guns. And that's just in his next First 100 days.

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  5. It's not a conspiracy if they really are out to get me!

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  6. Is the "Fairness Doctrine" really a conspiracy theory if there are Democrats who've actually supported it?

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fairness_Doctrine

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    1. Yes, since no one is seeking to reinstate the Fairness Doctrine.

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    2. Is it a conspiracy theory? Nah. Has there been a lot of paranoia about something that may be on some wish lists, but no one's active agenda? Yup.

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    3. Chris, what makes you so sure that no one will try to pass it in the future? The Fairness Doctrine has enjoyed the support of some prominent Democrats.

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    4. Jonathan,

      Paranoia? Given the threat it poses to conservative partisan media, I'm not surprised that they're worried. And if your livelihood (or blogging!) were threatened by it, you'd be worried too.

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    5. Yeah, it's paranoia. Even if someone tried to bring back some version of it in the future, no one is going to try to shut down conservative talk radio. And given that even a (relatively) benign version of it isn't on anyone's agenda...

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    6. "...no one is going to try to shut down conservative talk radio."

      You say that, and yet we both know that there are people on the left who would do it if they could.

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    7. Eh. When the Democrats had the WH, the House, and 60 Senators...as far as I know there wasn't even a bill, let alone serious hearings. It's not in the platform, it wasn't in any of the stump speeches of (AFAIK) any of the presidential candidates in '08...there's really nothing there.

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    8. Sure, and you could say the same about gun control. But that doesn't contradict what I said -- the policy remains on some liberal wish lists.

      If you think the policy idea is plainly nuts and/or embarrassing, just say so... no need to pretend it doesn't exist.

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    9. Effectively, it doesn't exist -- no one in any position of responsibility is proposing it. I think it's correct that those using it as a boogeyman are better described as engaging in paranoia, rather than conspiracy theory, but either way, it's silly nonsense.

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    10. Chris, if you think support for the fairness doctrine is dead, then your Google must be broken.

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    11. Who are the people in positions of responsibility making serious efforts to bring back the fairness doctrine, then?

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    12. Chris, I called it a wish list, not a game plan.

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    13. Just because someone, somewhere, would like to see a policy enacted does not mean that that policy has any chance of ever being enacted.

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    14. Chris,

      I did a perfunctory search on the Fairness Doctrine and had no trouble finding lots of support for it on the left. And these aren't just dailykos dead-enders... Heck, Nancy Pelosi supports it! (She also said her caucus has a lot of interest in the idea.) I'm glad that you agree with me that this is a really crazy idea, but you seem to be in denial about how much Democrats have actually embraced it.

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  7. Let's keep our options open. All sound good to me. Sen. Kyl can mull this over until he needs to more formally lead the call for Obama's impeachment in the spring of 2013 (should Obama indeed be reelected).

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  8. what's interesting to me about rumor-driven news is how, at it's core, there doesn't seem to be any GOP or political group driving it. I have two Ron Paulite friends on Facebook (an old roommate and his wife) and they are constantly posting what I guess I'd call Internet garbage: cell phone videos people have taken of hundreds of tanks being shipped somewhere on a train (they caption these as "MILITARY LAW IS IMMINENT" or whatever). they post videos of jesse ventura trying to make his third comeback as a conspiracy theorist. the other day my ex-roommate's wife posted a link on my wall about how some company is using aborted fetuses to flavor pepsi. I actually took the time to look into it. Turns out that pepsi considered (and decided against) hiring a flavor-testing company who once (and not since the early 2000s) used cloned kidney stem cells in an experiment having to do with toxin testing. The GOP is certainly trying to channel this type of hyped up nonsense to bully the Dems, but it doesn't seem like they are necessarily to blame for it.

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