Thursday, September 19, 2013

If John Boehner Really Had Chutzpah...

...what he'd do today is convince over 100 Members of his conference who have been griping about Ted Cruz and the Crazy Caucus to stand with him while he makes the following statement:


Over the last several months, I was convinced by enthusiastic Tea Party conservatives that their defund Obamacare idea really had a chance to work. I admit I was against it at first. But they convinced me that I was trapped in politics-as-usual Washington thinking, and that what we had here was a one-time opportunity to turn the tables on Barack Obama and the Democrat Party. They were right. A House vote for defunding Obamacare along with the CR would set the stage for a battle in the Senate -- and with the House giving them momentum, a groundswell of opinion from small towns, from big cities, and from farms across America could finally put an end to this terrible socialist experiment. Tea Party conservatives had me smelling the phone wires and emails and spontaneous grass-roots demonstrations that would have started as soon as our plan passed the House and hit the Senate. And so we scheduled the vote.

Unfortunately, Senator Ted Cruz undermined all that by his pre-emptive surrender yesterday. What was once a promising strategy has been destroyed. There's no going back; as much as we wish it, conservatives are very sensible and pragmatic people, and there's no way they're going to rise up to support a plan when a prominent Senator who had been talking up the idea, one who had been thought to be a real conservative, has already admitted defeat.

Therefore, now that Ted Cruz has given away our chance of using the budget deadlines to end Obamacare, we're going to move ahead with a more positive plan, centered on the budget and the spending. After all, what Americans really want to know is: What about the spending? So we're going to solve his crisis that the president caused. We'll vote tomorrow to keep the government open for the year and to adjust our debt limit to account for the lower deficits that Republican policies have brought us. But that's not all: we're also going to force the Senate to vote on our new Balanced Budget Amendment, the one that answers the question: Where are the jobs? And we're going to make them vote again -- three times -- on a budget. That'll show 'em.

I've heard recently that whoever doesn't carry the fight against Obamacare is therefore basically an Obamacare supporter. I guess that makes Ted Cruz the biggest Obamacare supporter of them all. As for us, we've voted 41 times to repeal against this terrible program, and I pledge right now that we'll vote 41 more times if necessary. I'll never give up, and neither will any of us Republicans in the House of Representatives.

Thank you very much.


  1. That would be awesome. What does he have to lose at this point? When the defund CR fails many will look to blame him anyway. At least this would provide for the possibility that some people who (as Bob Corker put it) can't do basic math and don't understand the House Tea Party would blame Cruz.

    As for pissing off Cruz, what does that cost Boehner? Calls from party leaders who think Cruz has a legit shot in 2016? The House Tea Party raising even more of a fuss? I don't see them voting for any CR that doesn't defund Obamacare anyway. This would at least give some more moderate Republicans some fallback with their Tea Party constituents.
    I guess there's the possibility that pissing off Cruz makes him more likely to filibuster whatever CR comes up in the Senate. But that possibility exists without such comments from Boehner.

    Anyway, I would love if this kind of thing really happened. I can see reasons why it doesn't. But I wish some politicians wouldn't be so risk averse and make things more entertaining for the rest of us.

  2. As long as we're entertaining fantasy theatrics, couldn't he also burst through the walls of the studio at Fox & Friends and scream that while he's at it, he's not going to pay a lot for this muffler?

    To use a baseball analogy, the brushback pitch always works a little better if they think you're actually crazy.

    1. I want you to throw the next one at the mascot. Just throw it. Trust me.

  3. "smelling the phone wires" wins the internet today.

    I am, like many, wondering if there will be a House vote tomorrow, fanciful Boehner statement-crafting or not.

  4. I'm thinking there's an "emperor wears no clothes" reference here.

    But, as near as I can figure, the story goes like this:

    Emperor: "I have no clothes on!"
    Crowd: "Shut up! When we saw how well your naked bullshit was playing, we doubled-down on our naked bullshit business!"

    The House GOP who are complaining about this are either: A) fantastically stupid to think that they had a chance or B) angry that Cruz has been outplaying them in fleecing the rubes and that his comment will make their fleecing harder.

    1. No, I don't think that's right. the House GOP who are complaining are angry that Cruz and others force them to choose between being reality-based RINOs or pretend crazies. And so any chance they get, they're going to take shots at him.

      What is probably particularly annoying to them about what Cruz said is that it proves he knows that the whole thing is a fraud; he's not actually crazy.

  5. We get it. You hate Republicans and think anyone who doesn't want to sign over the entire wealth of the country to the federal government is a lunatic. There can't be legitimate discussions about how best to end the liberal menace. Republicans are all either crazy or cynics.

    And I get accused of having a Manichaean world view.

    1. All legitimate discussion about "how best to end the liberal menace" need to include *winning elections*. The losing side, or in this case the more-losing-than-winning side, doesn't get to dictate policy.

      And, no, pointing that out does not constitute "hating Republicans."

    2. Just hatin' on the losers...... sorry, Jonathan. Couldn't resist.

  6. And anyway, wasn't it Reagan who said that Republicans shall not speak ill of other Republicans? Not saying that he lived by it, just that he claimed it as a virtue.

  7. This would be neat to see. My guess is, however, that Cruz's Tea Party cred is high enough that the GOP base would stand by Cruz and just write off Boehner's remarks as clever political shenanigans.


Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.

Who links to my website?